Survey time...

First thing you wash in the shower? My hair

What color is your favorite hoodie? Twins hoodie - so blue red and white

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Indeed

Do you plan outfits? Not really - unless it's a special occasion

How are you feeling RIGHT now? Sleepy

Whats the closest thing to you that's red? A baby toy

Tell me about the last dream you remember having? I was at camp or something and everyone was hanging out in forts made with blankets draped between sections of bleachers

Did you meet anybody new today? Nope

What are you craving right now? Sleep

Do you floss? The 2 days before my dentist appointment haha

What comes to mind when I say cabbage? The character on Scrubs

Are you emotional? I think I am fairly balanced - it's amazing what small children will do to your emotional patterns

Have you ever counted to 1000? Probably - I would assume while driving 10 hours to Indiana some summer

Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Lick mostly

Do you like your hair? It's fun but I can't wait until it can be in a ponytail again

Do you like yourself? Most of the time

Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Sure - I would laugh the whole time - it would be fun

What are you listening to right now? Law & Order SVU

Are your parents strict? No - even if they were it wouldn't have a huge effect on me anymore

Would you go sky diving? Definitely

Do you like cottage cheese? Nope

Have you ever met a celebrity? Nope

Do you rent movies often? Not for years -no wait I had Netflix for a while - got rid of that several months ago

Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? My wedding ring

How many countries have you visited? Haiti and Canada

Have you made a prank phone call? Yeah - "Is RICHARD there?!?!?!?" hehehehehehe

Ever been on a train? Just the Minnesota Zephyer

Brown or white eggs? Whatever

Do you have a cell-phone? Yes

Do you use chap stick? If I remember

Do you own a gun? Nope

Can you use chop sticks? Hell to the no

Who are you going to be with tonight? My husband and son

Are you too forgiving? Not anymore - I definitely used to be

Ever been in love? Yes

What is your best friend doing tomorrow? Watching the baby and then going to school

Ever have cream puffs? Yeah

Last time you cried? Last week

What was the last question you asked? Can you get that list thing for me?

Favorite time of the year? Anything but summer

Do you have any tattoos? 2

Are you sarcastic? Indeed

Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? I don't think so - was Ashton Kutcher in that one - or is that the Kevin Costner one? Meh - don't care

Ever walked into a wall? Almost everyday

Favorite color? Blue

Have you ever slapped someone? Indeed

Is your hair curly? Nope

What was the last CD you bought? Jason Mraz through iTunes

Do looks matter? Inevitably yes but it is not a make or break thing

Could you ever forgive a cheater? Nope - and I expect the same in return

Is your phone bill sky high? Not anymore!! Although $100 for a cell phone account is ridiculous

Do you like your life right now? It's going well right now

Do you sleep with the TV on? Nope

Can you handle the truth? Most of the time - but request that I always hear it even if I don't like it

Do you have good vision? 20/15

Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Nope - just 2

How often do you talk on the phone? Not very much - not a huge fan of the phone if I can avoid it

What are you wearing? Blue sweats and blue t-shirt

What is your favorite animal? Monkey

Where was your default picture taken at? My house

Can you hula hoop? Maybe - haven't tried lately

Do you have a job? Yes - I LOVE it!

What was the most recent thing you bought? A dress for our formal dinner for work

Have you ever crawled through a window? HAHA yeah

What CD is in your CD player in your car currently? Jason Mraz

The last concert you attended? No idea

What do you see when you look out your living room window? There is no window in my living room

Last thing you printed on your printer? Baby's birthday party plans

What is on the top of your entertainment center, if anything? TV

What is your passion? Love

What are your plans for the summer? School and work

Proposal

So now that I am back in college, I am trying to adjust to having homework again as well as finding the time to get it done. My first course was Oral Communication and I seemed to sail through it for the most part. We had homework but not much and it was fun to work on. I am in Professional Writing now and can't seem to motivate myself to get my assignments done. Class ended last Monday and I have until this coming Tuesday to get my final paper done and I haven't started it yet.

I need to write a 10 page business proposal and have no motivation to complete it. Once I complete it I have 4 weeks off for summer vacation with no homework to worry about. It needs to be in a specific format and cited in a specific way that I am not used to. I grew up using MLA style and now I need to use APA. My professor has been involved with APA for 4 years and still doesn't have all the rules down so that makes me a little wary and lessens my motivation further.

When school resumes in May I will be going full-time and will have twice as much homework. I am excited to learn as much as I can and build new skills with this degree but I am also already getting tired. I need to find a balance between work, school, and family that will allow me to remain sane but still allow motivation to complete good work in school.

Wish me luck - this will be an interesting adventure. :-)

What would you call it?

Sometimes I wonder how I got to this place in my life. To be a 23 year old mom, full-time student, working full-time, taking care of a 3 person family on my own; it adds some pressure to the daily routine. I need to work hard enough to make enough money to pay the bills that keep us fed, clothed, sheltered and together. I need to push myself enough to finish school to get a good job and move ahead in my career to continue providing for my family.

I could very easily lose all motivation and give up but then I look at my son's sweet little face, tongue sticking out and all, and it forces me to keep moving through life.

Some days I feel like I am in a dream. I feel like I am 16 and should be going to high school instead of work. I should be partying on the weekends or going to movies, staying out late and doing stupid teenager stuff with my friends. I feel like I may have missed out on those experiences - dating, having more fun, living life a little more carelessly for a while.

But at the same token, I wouldn't trade my family for the world. I love my husband and I cannot imagine not having my son. Okay - that's a bit of a stretch - I can imagine sleeping in on weekends, going out Friday nights, going out with friends, and so forth. However, I would rather have the life I have now. My son is amazing. He is 11 months old, has 5 teeth and is now crawling like crazy. He pulls himself up onto his knees on anything he can reach so walking won't be far behind. And he is so cute it's completely ridiculous. I keep thinking if I was with anyone else or at a different time in life I wouldn't have this child. I would have no child or a different child. He is so perfect I can only thank my lucky stars that this is the child I have.

Going to school full-time scares me. Right now I am going part-time. Starting in May it will be full-time. I am lucky to be able to work this into my hectic schedule but I have a feeling homework will soon overwhelm me. Part-time is manageable along with work. I work, on average, 47 hours each week. Class right now takes another 5 hours a week (soon to be 10 hours) plus 3 hours a week (soon to be 6 hours) for homework. Rowdy has school Monday and Wednesday nights, when I start full-time, I will go to school Tuesday and Thursday. Luckily we will have weekends together but we will be doing homework and trying to take care of the baby.

I have also decided that I need to get my weight under control to avoid diabetes and just to feel better and be able to be active as my son grows up. I have tried to control my weight for years and haven't found a way to keep myself on track. I am determined to focus on this aspect of my life and my husband has agreed to go on this journey with me. We need to do this for our son so that he doesn't need to worry about his weight and health for the rest of his life. I am hoping to lose 20 pounds (preferably more) by the end of summer. Rowdy and I have discussed the possibility of having another child but I refuse to if I am still this heavy. I have never had much self esteem and I need to change that. I just want to get to the point that I feel pretty when I look in the mirror. I am sick of knowing that every time Rowdy tells me I am beautiful I don't think it's a lie. I want to be comfortable with myself and feel beautiful. So that is my new mission to add into my schedule.

As well as this blog. One more thing to add on to the list - and I hope to keep this going. It helps me release my thoughts and I hope this will also keep me motivated to pursue my dreams and succeed with all my goals.

Thanks for sticking with me - talk to you soon.